Dear Child
by Shattered Skulls
Summary: Edward has finally gotten what he deserves...or so he thinks. But it leaves him stumbling in darkness searching for light. Can anyone help him see that he is worth more than he thinks? Or is he destined to forever be shadowed by the darkness of his mind? Warning - This story contains child abuse, rape, and other dark material. Read to your own transgression.


A/N: Hello people on FanFiction! Time for my first publishing. Please leave your honest reviews and tell me what you think. Hope you guys enjoy my first fanfic! Thanks! :3

- Shattered Skulls

* * *

A/N: **Warnings **This story contains child abuse, torture, rape, violence, language, mild gore, and just disturbing scenes. If you have a problem with any of the following, it is suggested that you not read the following story. Read to your own risk.

It was raining on that day. Of course, the very thing he hated, which had kept him from leaving until it had stopped. If only he had forgotten about his insignificant hatred of the form of precipitation and just went as he always had. But he figured, one little missed visit to check on them wouldn't hurt. They would be fine. After all, they were housed in with a famous State Alchemist. Someone that they could trust. And anyways, the boys would probably be doing the same thing that they always did when he ensured their safety and comfort, reading in the library to receive more information. On what, he was never sure, but the two brothers constantly strived for knowledge and he was almost positive that wouldn't change today. If only he knew how wrong he was.

"Colonel, shouldn't you be on your way to check on the boys at Tucker's? It is that day of the week."

"It's raining Lieutenant. You know how I despise the rain."

"But sir, that's what cars and umbrellas are for. I would suggest that you don't waste your time making unintelligent excuses and begin to make your way to the Tucker estate."

"I'm sorry, but that's not your decision to make Lieutenant. I have quite a bit of work to catch up on and I would rather not be using time that could be used toward finishing my paper work for confirming those boys haven't burned the place to the ground. I'd prefer to spend this lovely day _inside. _And that's final."

"Of course, sir. My apologies. I had completely forgotten how useless you were in the rain."

What followed this statement was a salute and a hasty exit. Once the footsteps ceased, the Colonel was able to let out his sigh of relief. Though he constantly strived to remain composed, the lieutenant was always someone to be cautious of. Today must be his lucky day. He didn't have to go out in the rain and he managed to avoid the wrath of an angry Riza Hawkeye.

"It's only one missed visit. And I'm not even under any orders to check on the Elrics. Knowing those boys, they'll be fine. Especially with Edward there. They'll be fine." And with that, he continued with his paperwork.

If only he knew how wrong he was.

* * *

It was raining. Great…just fan-_fucking_-tastic. The rain wasn't a good thing for him. See, water and metal don't really mix. And, with his two automail limbs connected to his flesh, it created pain and uncomfort not known to many people. This was definitely a day to stay inside. Not that he would go outside anyways. Everyone knew that he didn't go outside much. He preferred to spend his time reading and obtaining as much knowledge as he could from Mr. Tucker's gargantuan library and sharing the knowledge with Alphonse. The only times he really stepped out where when he was just in the mood for fresh air, when Al demanded that he step outside and get some fresh air, or when Colonel Bastard's demands required him to leave the premises.

As Edward made his way through the wooden shelves that were filled with an endless amount of books, he began to ponder about what the day would hold. Al was going to take the day off from studying (much to Ed's displeasure) to spend some time with Nina. Her father was always really busy and could barley spend any time with her, so the younger Elric couldn't help but sympathize with the girl, seeing as his own father was barely able to spend time when he was younger as well. Edward was slightly annoyed at the fact that Al brought that up when they were discussing last night about Al's absence, but knew that he was fighting a losing battle. That's just the way his brother was.

Mr. Tucker said that he would be busy in his study preparing for his yearly assessment. He kindly asked not to be disturbed or bothered, especially if any _guests_ came over to the house. And Ed had a feeling who he was talking about.

Around this time every week, Colonel Bastard would come over to Mr. Tucker's house and do what he called an _inspection_. Ed wasn't so sure about this but whatever the fuck it was; it sure annoyed the hell out of him. He could tell that Mustang's appearance in his household bothered Mr. Tucker and made him feel uncomfortable enough to only show his face about twice when the colonel was around, to say hello and then goodbye. And Al always insisted that he be polite to Colonel Bastard. So for these weekly visits where Ed would rather much be spending time in the library, indulging all of its text, he had to give his reports in to the bastard and ensure to him that he wouldn't be burning the whole estate down anytime soon.

It wasn't the fact that the colonel showed his face so often that bothered Ed. It was the feel of the whole situation and the meetings that bothered him. He was pretty sure that Mustang wasn't ordered to check up on him and his brother. The lack of professionalism was a key give away to that fact. So why would he take time out of the week to visit him? Was it because he cared? He cared about him and his brother?

_Yeah, right._

Ed wasn't going to buy that idea. He and Al had been fending for themselves for quite a while know and had grown used to not having any guardians or something close to a family. They had the Rockbells, but they were all the way back from Resembool, and even if they were close, Ed wasn't even sure if he'd consider them family. He didn't like depending on people. And he sure as hell hated when anyone treated him like a kid. That's why the whole though of Mustang acting parental towards him was pissing him the fuck off.

_What a great day. My automail sockets hurts like hell, Al left me alone, and best of all, I have to deal with Colonel Bastard. What the fuck am I supposed to do with him here when I'm in the house all alone?_

Alone.

Yeah, he was in the house alone. Well, Mr. Tucker was home but around the hours when Mustang usually arrived, he remained unseen and unheard for quite a while. _How strange. _Well, then again, Mr. Tucker was a strange guy. Ed would sometimes find the guy creepily staring at him, an unreadable expression on his face. Sometimes finding the man watching him in the library. And the random touching. On his head, on his shoulder, his arm, his leg; it kinda made Ed a little wary of him. But these were little things that were easily dismissed.

_Perhaps he's just curious. I mean, I am the mysterious Fullmetal Alchemist._

_I guess he's making sure that Al and I don't ruin the books in his library. Mustang must have told him how 'destructive' we were._

_Was he trying to get my attention with that rub on my shoulder?_

_Why is he touching me like that? Maybe it's just a father thing. Not that I'd know. Maybe he does it to Nina too. Yeah that's probably it. _

Ed was shaken from his thoughts as the grandfather clock that stood near the door of the library struck twelve and began to chime. Then, it went back to its monotonous ticking. _Tick, tick, tick. _Edward sat there on the floor, without a book in hand, seemingly confused.

_Twelve? It's already noon and the colonel still hasn't come? Guess the bastard maybe got sick of the parental act. That means I have the rest of the day to myself._

Edward got up and proceeded to the shelves, trying to find a paperback that he hadn't already read but still held some educational value and allowed him to add to his increasing knowledge. Upon scanning the wood shelves, he couldn't help but notice how quiet the house was. Al was usually always there by his side, and without him, Ed couldn't help but notice the little spaces that Al seemed to fill when they were together. In the silence, Ed could hear the rain outside, its torrents hitting the windows.

_Man, it's really pouring out there._

As he continued to scan the shelves, Ed couldn't help but feel as if someone were watching. He couldn't tell how he knew, it was just a feeling. A very strong feeling. He could feel the goose bumps form as it felt like ice was crawling all over his skin. He swore that he could see a figure perched behind the books, keeping track of his every movement. Ed could feel the sweat beginning to form at his brow. It was only natural that he begin to feel nervous.

_What the hell? Is it my imagination or is some creepy person watching me from over there? I don't get it though. The house is supposed to be empty. Maybe the colonel did show up…_

Ed then looked to the door of the library, which was opened slightly. Just enough for someone to fit through.

_I didn't even hear that door open. Then again, I didn't hear the front door open either. So it can't be that bastard trying to freak me out. Then who?! I'm supposed to be here alone! Well, with me and Mr. Tucker…_

_Wait…._

Ed's eyes widened with realization of who was in the library with him. Well, at least he now knew that there was no psycho or killer in the house. It was just Mr. Tucker. _Just go on and look for your books. It's just like the other times. Let him watch you._ Ed shuddered at that thought but he was right. Better not let Tucker think that he knew he was there. For some reason, Ed couldn't help but think that confronting Mr. Tucker would be the worst thing to do in this situation, and Ed learned that he should rely on his thinking process. So, he continued scanning the library's shelves, searching for his book and watching Tucker from the corner of his eye. The unease that he felt was immense.

_Damn Al, did you have to go with Nina to her stupid play date? And colonel, you choose today of all days not to come?_

* * *

_Okay you creepy ass fucker, it's been like two hours and you still haven't left the library. Now you're really starting to piss me off._

Ed had been in the library for over two hours and Tucker was still there, watching him. Ed had picked out his book and was attempting to read it, but he couldn't focus with the feeling of Mr. Tucker just there behind him, trying to hide, watching him for such a long time. It made him feel really uncomfortable. He couldn't help but feel like something was going amiss. That this was different from all the other times that he found Tucker watching him. For one thing, the period of time that he was watched was definitely shorter. And, he usually had Al around him or somewhere in the house. The feeling of being alone wasn't a good one, especially when Mr. Tucker was acting so…weird.

_Maybe if I leave the library, he'll leave me alone. I'll go to my room or something, and then just sneak my way back. I doubt that Mr. Tucker would follow me into my room._

And with that thought, Ed proceeded to put the book back on the shelf. It's not like he was reading it anyways. Not with that man watching him like that. Then, he worked his way through the maze of library shelves and made his way to the door. The door which still was slightly opened. As he pretended not to notice the fact that the door was open when he indeed closed it, he saw the figure in the corner of his eye begin to shift and move toward the door as well. Ed could feel his heart begin to race faster and in a sort of panic, he yanked the door open, raced out, and then slammed it shut, hoping that Mr. Tucker would take it as a sort of hint. With a shaky sigh, Ed once again proceeded to his room, where he was sure that Tucker wouldn't follow him.

At the top of the final step, Ed made a right and opened the first door in the hall. His and Al's room; his sanctuary. The one place where he barely had to worry about anything. Except himself. The nightmares and guilt that plagued him during the night was enough to drive anyone mad. But, then again, he deserved it. It was his punishment for committing the taboo. It was his punishment for killing his mother once again, for taking his brother's life away from him, and forcing him to share the punishment that he deserved to take on fully. Everything was his fault, and he was going to strive to make it right again.

Ed flopped onto his bed and buried his head in his pillow. With the pain from his automail, the reading that he wasn't able to complete, the panic with Mr. Tucker, and just all the other forms of stress in his life, Ed could feel a migraine forming. He groaned in discomfort and rubbed his temples to try to ease the pain.

_Damn, could this day get any worse?_

While lying down in pain, Ed didn't notice the door to his and Al's room open. He didn't hear or see the person that was coming into his room. The only thing that Ed saw was the light from the hallway, and he was forced to close his eyes because the light messed with his head. When the light ceased, and he heard a faint click, Ed looked up and saw what had made its way into his room. Or rather, who.

"Mr. Tucker?" Ed said, eyes widening in horror as he realized that Mr. Tucker had entered his room. _What the fuck is he doing in here? _"Is that you? What are you doing in here?"

"It is I, Edward. I was just checking up on you to make sure that you're okay."

"Oh, um…yeah I'm fine."

"Good, good," said Tucker, beginning to maneuver his way inside the room. "I noticed that there were no visitors today."

"Uh, yeah. The colonel didn't come if that's who you're referring to," Ed said a little nervously. _Why is he coming further in here? And why did he lock the door?_

"And what of Alphonse and Nina? Are they still on their play date?"

"Yeah."

"Good. I wondered why the house was so quiet. It meant that there was no one around…well no one but me and you."

"Um, excuse me Mr. Tucker but why are you in here? And why did you lock the door?"

At that point, Mr. Tucker gave Ed one of the most horrifying stares that he had ever seen. It was the look of someone who was about to be satisfied, but was still ravenous, a peculiar look that made Ed question whether he should be trying to run. "Oh come on Edward. I thought intelligence was one of your strongest traits. As a child protégée and the youngest person to join the military and become a State Alchemist, I find it hard to believe that you could be this stupid." Mr. Tucker then began to walk to the bed where Ed was sitting up.

"Wait, what the fuck do you think you're do-"

He was cut off when Tucker then lunged at him, pinning him to the bed by his arm and covering his mouth.

"Well, first things first. We can't have you doing any alchemy now can we. How lucky I am that your arm is automail. An easy thing to remove…"

"Wait! No, don't-"

Ed was once again cut off, but this time, it was from the searing pain that came from the abrupt removal of his automail. The damp weather added to the pain factor as Ed held back a scream, only to let out a pained gasp.

_W-what's going on? What is he d-doing?_

"Now that the automail removal is out of the way, let's proceed Edward."

Sweating and panting in pain, Ed questioned with a glare, "Proceed? Proceed with what you bastard?"

Ed's head then turned to the side from the force of the slap that was administered on him from Tucker.

"Now, Edward, we shouldn't be using that kind of language now should we?" Tucker said, bringing his face closer to Ed's. Ed tried to draw back but he was pinned to the bed and completely unable to move.

"Before I was so rudely interrupted by your little outburst Edward, I was going to explain to you. But, now I'll let you figure it out. Don't worry; I'll lead you to the conclusion step by step. And, if you even think about screaming or doing anything along those lines, I will let the military know about your younger brother. Such a shame it would be if he were sent off to labs to be studied, examined, and picked apart; forced to endure more of the punishment that you alone should suffer from."

Edward began to shake from all the emotions that he was currently feeling, the anger, the confusion, the fear. _How does he know to play that card? I can't do that to Alphonse…I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I'll just have to go along with it. I'll get this bastard for creeping up on me like that later. Just get through this touching session like you did the others. For Al…_

"Now Edo, I know that you've noticed that I've had my eye on you for quite a while now. You've noticed the stares, the touches. That's exactly the thing though; you're the only one that noticed. And, if you ever told anyone, they wouldn't believe you. When they hear you talk, they only hear the annoying, crippled child who took everything away from his brother for his own selfish desires. No one cares about you. Not like I do. I just show my love in a different way. You wouldn't know but different children call for different ways to show parental care. And, for a selfish, evil, tainted, bothersome child like you, the way to do that is the way I intend to show you that I care."

Tucker began to lean his body onto Ed's, and leaned into his ear. Ed began to shake intensely. The touching, the words, _the pain_ he was feeling at that moment, it all became too much for him to handle.

_I-is that true? That's what people think of me? I knew that Al blamed me, but does everybody blame me as well? …Of course they do. Even I think these things about myself. Maybe Tucker does care and this is something for 'kids like me'. But something about this feels wrong…_

"Mr. Tucker, please…let me go…"

"Not a chance," Tucker replied."We are never in the house alone. What better opportunity to show you how you deserved to be treated then now."

Tucker began to undress Edward. Ed squirmed, not wanting to feel the cold hands of the deranged man on his body. He could feel himself growing antsy, wanting to do nothing more than run away and never return. But he had to think of Al. He couldn't let Al suffer for his mistakes. So, the best he could do was beg Mr. Tucker to leave him alone and let him go.

"What are you doing? P-please just leave me alone. I won't tell anyone about any of this. I-I'll still let you touch me and stare at me. Just please let me go…"

Tucker finished undressing Edward. He then began to undress himself. Tears began to form in Ed's eyes as he lay there on the bed, under Tucker, completely naked as Tucker began to undress himself. _No…no this can't be happening to me. This isn't what I think it is. Don't be a weakling and show him how scared you are. This is for Al. And for you…right?_ But Ed couldn't help it as tears rolled down his cheeks.

"What's with the tears, Edward? You're only getting what you deserve?"

Tuckers hand began to make its way to Ed's crotch, and the boy whimpered when it made contact. He squeezed it and Ed gasped in pain. _No…no…no…_

"Yes, exactly what you deserve…"

His tongue began making its way up Edward's chest to his cheeks, tasting the salty tears that flowed like rivers down the boy's face; then began to make its way back down, feeling the chest quickly lower then rise, and then all the way down, to his…

"What you need…"

He could hear the boy's frantic whispers of '_No…no please…don't…I-I'll do anything. Just make it stop…' _If anything though, it intrigued him even more. He felt himself growing hard. He couldn't – wouldn't – do this with Nina. She was far too young…and female. Edward had interested him from the moment that he stepped into the household. With his golden hair and eyes, his tight leather pants, and his beautiful smile, the boy was just asking to be touched. So what if he was only twelve?

_Love doesn't have an age…_

"You're getting what you ultimately ought to have…"

And with that, he flipped Edward over and laid himself on Ed's back, whispering into the young boy's ears. Ed's eyes widened with horror over what he had just heard. Is this what he truly deserved? Of course it was. Here he was, the foolish, selfish, evil, tainted, bothersome child who didn't even deserve the life he had now. He was finally going to get a taste of the price he would have to pay.

_A world full of pain…_

A/N: My first chapter of my first published fanfiction is finally complete. Please leave your reviews when you're done reading to tell me what you think. Any feedback is greatly appreciated! And BTW, if you couldn't tell, this takes place during the first FMA when Ed is twelve and he just received his State Alchemist certification. I think this timeline gives me a lot more to play around with…*insert evil laugh along with music and thunder here* Yeah, I know I'm a weirdo…but stay along with this fanfic and read the future chapters when they get posted sometime in the near future. With this really long author's note, I say laters!


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